Adam is confused. It hurt itself in the confusion!

What Is The Scariest Thing That Could Happen?

What could really be classed as the scariest thing possible? I think it ranges from person to person, depending on events and situations they’ve had to deal with while growing up. I think a lot of these ‘scary’ situations could have something to do with the media that people consume, maybe even their faith could play a large part in it. People often ask me this question*, and I have a ready made answer, but I think its important to outline the type of events that could happen to you in your lifetime that disqualify them from being considered the single scariest thing possible.

Home Invasion

These happen all the time. If you’ve watched Crimewatch in the past 11 years, you’ll notice these things crop up once a week. Rich man X lives in a massive house in Y and, one dark and foggy night (I’m using creative license, Crimewatch is never this inventive), A, B and C break into his home and rob him. Traumatising, but not the scariest thing possible. Why? I’ve seen shows about it happen. I keep a baseball bat next to my bed. If anyone was coming up the stairs, I swear I’ll get them before they get me. How can something be classed as the scariest thing possible if I’m already prepared for it?

Note: if you are a member of the police force reading this, this is not a confession. I’m more likely to cower under the covers.

Assault

This sort of goes hand-in-hand with my previous point. Being attacked, whether as an act of robbery, sexually aggravated or for simple lulz like you read about, is something I definitely don’t want to find myself or any of my family/friends on the receiving end of. People who’ve been attacked in the past can sometimes both emotionally and physically never get over the fact they’ve been set upon. I am a total lover (albeit recently a self-lover more than a regular lover) and can not understand the mindset of attacking someone. That shit is cray. But then again, no one is oblivious to the dangers that surround us. I half expect someone to kick off whenever I go out. Maybe not with me, but I’ve seen enough fools brawling to know it happens. I read enough news stories about people being jumped by gangs. The world is mental, but I know it happens! How can it be the scariest thing ever if when I leave the house I sort of expect it?

War

It happened. It happens. It will continue to happen, and the idea that in my lifetime there may be another World War, well, it’s possible, isn’t it? Is it out of the question? No way. Am I prepared? That information is best kept between me and the fallout shelter in my parent’s garden…

God/Aliens

Does God exist? Probably not. Might though…somewhere. I don’t know and I don’t care. Do I believe in alien life form? No real evidence, but they might exist somewhere too. It’s more probable the human race will be visited by little green men rather than JC and his merry men. Thing is. I was brought up on stories of both sides. If I saw E.T waddling out of his ship one day, I think I’d easily accept it. Fox Mulder was right!
But what if, when I die, all the Christians were right? There I’ll stand, at the pearly gates, while Heaven’s bouncer St. whoever (was it Paul or Peter?) reads out to me a list of sins and condemns me to eternal torment. In fact, I used to work with a guy who told me I’d walk on sandals made of glass when I die. Who tells people that? The only time he spoke to girls was when he asked if they wanted a drink with their popcorn, so I’ll let it slide. The point is, being brought up in an Irish catholic family has prepared me for this, just in case it happens…

So what is the scariest thing that could possibly happen? Surely I’ve explored every avenue? Let me set the scene for you…

You wake up in the middle of a hot, sweaty night. You reach towards your bedside table to grasp at a bottle of Volvic Natural Mineral Water, now available at all local stores. The bottle is empty. You check the time, it’s ten minutes past two in the morning. You turn over, but struggle to settle and with your mouth feeling dryer than a Geodude’s armpit, you head downstairs to fetch a glass of juice.

Downstairs you open the fridge. The cold air blasts you, giving you minor relief in this heatwave. You pull out a bottle of blackcurrent juice and close the door. There you stand in the pitch black, sipping away.

It’s night time. It’s dark. There is no light anywhere, save from a street lamp whose light pours through your blinds. You walk towards the window and draw back the blinds. Looking out, the world is dark and still.

Suddenly, it becomes day time.

No time has passed. I repeat…no time has passed. It’s the same time. You’ve not lost an hour or two. Your clock is not wrong. It’s still just after 2am. You’ve not been abducted. The street lamp is still on. You are not dreaming, the night has just turned to day, for no reason what so ever. No explanation.

Scariest. Thing. Ever.

*no one has ever asked me this question. Why would they?

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