Adam is confused. It hurt itself in the confusion!

My Unconventional Christmas Films List

Being home for Christmas means a great many things to a great many people. Family, food a plenty, presents, and having to listen to some of the worst music imaginable (I’m looking at you, Fairytale of New York. Shane MacGowan has more teeth than talent).

For me, Christmas means MOVIEZ. In fact, Easter means movies…Diwali means movies…pretty much any occasion is a good time to make a list of what films I’ll be revisiting over the festive period.

I think the films we watch at Christmas are usually the films we grew up watching right?  They don’t necessarily have to be Christmas themed, although it’s usually appropriate to watch a festive folly in order to get me in the mood. It’s hard watching television a lot and having to sit through every fucking Christmas advert that has been showing since October. I swear, I’ve never wanted a ferris wheel to collapse until I saw Freddie Flintoff in that Morrisons advert (although I can’t deny I enjoy Brucey’s jest). Why are Morrisons showing us a Christmas market? Surely they’d rather we go to their store?

My point is, after you’ve had other peoples’ versions of Christmas shoved down your throat, it’s important to watch the stuff you associate with childhood and family. Sometimes your list can be very unconventional. Who am I to say it is wrong that you enjoy watching a King of Queens marathon with your folks? In all honesty though, that one example is beyond evil. Anyway, here’s what I’ll be watching in and around the day:

Jurassic Park

“But Adam, this has nothing to do with Christmas!”. This is why this is my list. Nothing reminds me of being comfortable in my surrounds, with great people around me, more than Jurassic Park. Yeah, I’ve watched it a possible 3 times this year, but after I finish my Christmas dinner, you bet I want to settle down with Muldoon and the gang.

Home Alone

Finally, a real Christmas film. A film that has to be on everyone’s list. Adventure! Mild peril! Comedy! Creepy old men! Whatever you make of the child abuse in this film, it’s simply a staple of this merry season. The sequel? Not so much.

Gremlins 2

I didn’t grow up watching Christmas favourite Gremlins, we only owned the taped-off-the-telly version of Gremlins 2. Y’know, the one with the talking Gremlin in New York City…the one with Hulk Hogan in the cinema. I continue to lap that shit up every Christmas. I only saw the original Gremlins a few years ago. I’m not kidding. The sequel makes perfect sense, even if you hadn’t seen the first. While I love both of them, watching Gremlins 2 this holiday time will definitely remind me of childhood. While it does lack the Christmas setting, remember the tranny Gremlin that falls in love with that guy? Funny!

Die Hard

Every few months I think to myself, “it’s time I re-watched Die Hard, I haven;t done that since Christmas!”. I then wander over to my DVDs, but before I take out the disc, I notice Die Hard 3 sat there. Die Hard 3 has the best opening to a Die Hard film and is my preferred choice of the series, so I never get round to seeing John McClane when he had credibility.

Hook

I will find any excuse to watch this film, as most people I’ve lived with will testify to. Christmas is more of an excuse than anything. Sky have been showing their new mini-series Neverland since last week, which has so far been pretty fun, aside from some of the terrible CG backgrounds. I do love new takes on established stories, but Neverland has confused me. Bob Hoskins reprises his role as Smee, the same role he played in Hook, yet the back-story is totally different! Has this got to me? You bet. I think this Christmas I need to just unwind with Dustin Hoffman’s best performance to date. Go on, challenge me on that one!

Honourable mentions: It’s A Wonderful Life, Bad Santa, playing 007 Nightfire on the Gamecube, The Grinch, Nightmare Before Christmas,

People might say “But Adam, you watch these films all the time!” to which I say, fuck you.